What They Do Best
by AttoliaxKonoha06
Summary: What Loki doesn't know, what Clint has so far wisely chosen not to reveal, is that the mental bond caused by the spell works both ways.


**A/N: The Avengers belong to Stan Lee and Marvel, Loki belongs to himself. **

**Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this tale:**

**What They Do Best.**

* * *

Saying Loki and Clint have never gotten along is as much an understatement as saying Jotunheim is chilly. Loki never cared for mortals. As far as he was concerned they were either a tool or an obstacle, and Clint has simply had the opportunity to be both. Loki acknowledges Clint's hatred, he is entitled to it, but the god has better things to worry about, and Clint is no threat. Loki knows intimately the workings of Clint's mind, and if he had to, he could destroy him in the most painful, personal hell Clint has ever had nightmares of.

But Loki isn't entirely sure- even if he wants to believe he is- that he could put Clint through that again. He's seen some part of Clint he didn't intend to. It was never really Loki's spell to begin with, it was the power of the Tesseract, and Loki was only a vessel, channeling Clint's memories whether he wanted them or not.

Loki doesn't know if he would care for Clint at all if not for the memories he saw but never wanted. The ones that may, if he's being entirely honest, make him feel some small guilt where the agent is concerned. Loki's seen what transpired between Clint an his brother, before SHIELD found him. The god realizes that he and Clint are not so different, their stories mirroring each other's. Loki would give more than he is willing to admit to prevent history from repeating itself and avoid Clint's fate. He doesn't like to think that the two of them are in anyway similar. He wants to be more. He could break Clint, leave him a shell of a man, and be done with it so easily. A few nightmares, a few persuasive, damaging conversations, a few spells to wreak havoc in his mind. Loki has the power, the incentive, but for some reason he just…can't.

Loki has done terrible things time and again- he can't imagine it's his conscience holding him back. He'd like to think it's the threat of punishment that prevents him from raising his hand against the agent, but that's wrong and he knows it. It's because he sympathized with Clint. It's because he could feel Clint's anguish on top of his own, and it's made him human. He despises it, he struggles against it, wants to escape it at all costs. It tears at him in quiet hours and he tears at himself because of it. There's nothing Loki can do.

Except what he does best.

Loki doesn't believe there's any redemption awaiting him, either here or in Asgard, but he hopes there is. He doesn't believe he can escape his past, but he hopes he can. He doesn't believe he can recover- expand- his relationship with his brother, but he hopes he can, and he knows if he kills Clint, he will hope in vain. He isn't ready to put his best foot forward, to accept to give forgiveness, not yet, but he hopes, if he learns from Clint, that he might be someday.

So Loki ghosts through the tower, and does what he does best; hopes.

* * *

What Loki doesn't know, what Clint has so far wisely chosen not to reveal, is that the mental bond caused by the spell works both ways. Granted, Clint had no control over what he saw in Loki, but he has indeed seen things he's positive the god would have taken to his grave. He's seen the abyss as Loki saw it, he's seen glimpses of the torture Loki suffered at Thanos' hands. Clint is unsure what to do with these type of memories because not only would revealing them make Loki subject to a lighter punishment and sympathy- something Clint's anger and pride are not willing to allow yet- but also because they make the agent himself feel empathy. Regardless of what Loki has done or tried to do, sharing his pain has made it difficult for Clint to hate him, which frustrates him to no end. Clint wants to hate him. He has every right to hate him. He just…can't.

And that is why he chooses to keep silent about the other things he saw. Clint has never let it on- guarding it nearly as close as Loki does- that he knows Loki' s darkest secret. Clint could do anything he wanted to Loki. Torment him, control him. He doesn't doubt he could probably even convince Loki to kill himself if he wanted to- he saw when the god tried it the first time. Clint realized quickly that he would be in the exact same position Loki had been, and so he would be just as bad as him. But he knows even that knowledge wouldn't have stopped him from doing it. Clint's been violated and cut to the core- he should have no qualms about doing something immoral in retaliation. Seeing his memories has made Loki too damn human, brought him too close, and even if he could easily have taken out any villain SHIELD could point towards, Clint just can't torture someone that maybe, in some sense of the word, could possibly be a little innocent. So Clint decides to fuel his vengeance by remaining silent, by not letting Loki know just how close he's come to disaster, and by doing what he does best: watching. Clint makes Loki his little experiment, for lack of a better word, and sits back to watch for any sign of Loki changing. For all of Loki's lies, Clint can see right through him now, and if there's even a chance for the god to be redeemed- much as he wishes he didn't give a damn- he wants him to succeed.

So Clint sits back and does what he does best; watches.


End file.
